Power Rankings Week 16

I’m at the point where in doing these rankings, I don’t even glance at the overall standings. They border on irrelevance when comparing and contrasting teams. This isn’t to say they’re inconsequential, they are obviously. But in terms of determining who would beat who in a one game playoff, for roughly 80% of the potential match-ups the circumstances surrounding any of them are equal or greater to the perceived talent of the coaches and players gracing the field. This is why gambling on the NFL has outlived its enjoyment.

Onto the rankings.

1) New England Patriots
Even their games that should result in losses still, somehow, turn into wins. It helps that they completely underestimated the Rodger-less Packers, but usually such indifference results in some sort of consequence.

2) Philadelphia Eagles
Comebacks of this magnitude, especially when they’ve already shown the capacity to dominate on a big stage, are almost more impressive to me than blowouts.

3) Atlanta Falcons
Quite the dominating performance against the Seahawks this weekend. I’m not sure what the game was supposed to tell us that we didn’t already know, other than the Falcons are just as obscure this season as Seattle, despite having the best record in the league. Also, their schedule this season almost guaranteed they’d have a winning record.

4) Pittsburgh Steelers
One loss to a solid team in dyer need of a win isn’t the end of the world. It’s even less significant in knowing that Polamalu didn’t play. Note: Troy Polamalu needs a nickname.

5) Baltimore Ravens
Finally, a notable win over a team gaining momentum. It was at home, but still, I’m going to take any opportunity I have to discredit this team. Their competition isn’t doing me any favors, though.

6) New Orleans Saints
This team’s a (non-literal) lock for a wildcard and excels in a dome environment. In other words, the Falcons are really hoping they lose in the post-season before the two have to play each other.

7) New York Jets
How dull are the playoffs going to be if they make another run to the AFC title game? No one wants to see all that self-congratulatory defense. Again.

8) San Diego Chargers
Look back at how many ridiculous losses this team has under their wing. Norv Turner would be the worst BCS coach in the history of BCS coaches.

9) Green Bay Packers
Given the state of their quarterback, I should probably have them lower. But if Rodgers comes back healthy and they sneak into the playoffs (they aren’t), it goes without saying they will be a tough out.

10) New York Giants
That presser for Eli Manning this week only confirms what we said about the Giants two weeks ago.

11) Chicago Bears
Beat all the Joe Webb led teams you want, I’m not buying what you’re selling. I want too, but I can’t.

12) Indianapolis Colts
Is going 10-6 and missing the playoffs going to be better or worse for your standard Colts detractors than if they’d finished the season under .500? I’m going to say better.

13) Kansas City Chiefs
At 9-5, I’m really not giving them they’re due at 13. But this team runs on about seven players who carry the rest of the team every week.

14) Jacksonville Jaguars
Probably the biggest drop in the rankings from last week. I can’t say it isn’t in part due to their interchangeable nature, but if they miss the playoffs, is anyone going to be surprised?

15) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
That Lions loss proved two things: 1) The Lions can hang with anyone this side of the Patriots. And 2) Tampa is going to struggle with not only the top ten teams in the league, but also those who match them in rag-tag-ness.

16) Oakland Raiders
7-7 gets you the top half of the league these days.

17) Miami Dolphins
Pretty absurd that you can predict with relative accuracy how the Dolphins by applying the inverted logic of whether they’re at home or not.

18) Dallas Cowboys
They have some notable talent and are still trying. This is how uninspiring the bottom 40% of the league is.

19) Cleveland Browns
They have the still trying part down, but the talent is in need of at least one more draft.

20) Detroit Lions
No starting quarterback, and no notable defensive players apart from the rookie they drafted 2nd overall.

21) St. Louis Rams
I can’t wait to hear someone say something along the lines of “Sam Bradford is getting exposed”. Like he’s supposed to be leading this team to a Superbowl, or something.

22) Seattle Seahawks
Charlie Whitehurst was probably the best Clemson quarterback I’ve seen in my lifetime. I also thought Kevin Youngblood would be the next Randy Moss, so take that for what it’s worth.

23) Tennessee Titans
Signs of life for the first time in seven weeks against a team that’s thrown in the towel only show that you also fail at throwing in the towel.

24) Buffalo Bills
Probably should be higher, but such is the stigma of an 0-8 start.

25) San Francisco 49ers
Losing 34-7 in week 15, regardless of who the opponent is, means I have to quit making excuses for you. This team blows. Hope you(‘re) enjoy(ed)(ing) the world series win, San Fran.

26) Minnesota Vikings
This team is just depressing at this point.

27) Washington Redskins
Rivalry games bring the best out of people. I can’t wait for 2011 or 2012 for this team to be almost unrecognizable from its current incarnation, then for people to blame the running backs or something.

28) Cincinnati Bengals
It was their first win in eleven weeks, but against a division/state rival, at home, and the first game in awhile they managed not to choke away in the fourth. Good job on the win, but it’s about as significant as an empty, unloaded rifle in a nuclear war.

29) Houston Texans
It’s official, the Houston Texans have achieved the rank of most disappointing team in 2010. At least it’s recognition, something they haven’t had since the David Carr days.

30) Arizona Cardinals
What a loss. We keep them in front of Carolina if for no other reason than they had to travel east. That doesn’t work out well for anyone. If the jet lag is so detrimental, why don’t these teams just arrive at the city they’re playing in earlier during the week?

31) Carolina Panthers
This is like going from “Sell” to “Don’t Buy” on Mad Money. Essentially, they should have lost to shore up their choice of quarterback.

32) Denver Broncos
No coach, a quarterback that has the mechanics of Lucas, and still the least equipped defense in the league, I see no reason to assume this team would beat Carolina if they played a game in Springfield, Missouri (close to an equidistant point between the Denver and Charlotte).