Week 9 Power Rankings

Order was, in its own way, restored and distorted in the NFL this week. It would be a nice change of pace if these games weren’t sloppier than an , but if this is the result of parity, I’ll take it over what the NBA and MLB have turned into. You think a hard cap is a bad thing? Ask the fine citizens of Pittsburgh, Indianapolis and New Orleans their thoughts on the subject.

To the rankings.

1) New England Patriots 6-1

After the week two loss to the Jets, this team has won with varying degrees of conviction for the past five games. Quietly as kept, they’re the lone one loss team in the league. That’s what happens when you don’t fret about the running back position. Take heed, Bills management.

2) Indianapolis Colts 5-2

This is done on a week to week basis, and the Colts looked pretty damn good despite all the injuries last night, proving once again that Peyton Manning could turn Brian Scalabrine into a pro-bowl wide out.

3) New York Giants 5-2

The bye week assists another team that garnered some hype the week beforehand. That’s what happens when two of the team’s in front of them (Steelers & Jets) inexplicably drop home and road games.

4) Green Bay Packers 5-3

The Packers treat their regular season like the Yankees treat theirs. Problem being the margin of error is a lot slimmer in the NFL. Get it together, Green Bay. If you can beat the Jets on the road then there’s no reason to lose in DC or Chicago.

5) Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2

There isn’t a lot of shame in losing to the Saints in New Orleans, but the cumulative effect of Sunday’s loss and week 6′s win-that-was-actually-a-loss, they had to sacrifice the top spot. I’m sure they’re devastated.

6) New York Jets 5-2

This team is still a Super Bowl contender, obviously. But a home loss – a shutout, no less – coming out of the bye week to a team many discounted as too banged up to be competitive, doesn’t bode well for their consistency, which is a necessity in the playoffs.

7) New Orleans Saints 5-3

They may have won, but it was ugly and fortuitous. Plus, the Superdome on Halloween night is like Benny’s going away party in City of God minus Li’l Ze. That is to say, a visiting team could be easily rattled by the scene and solidarity of the city.

8) Atlanta Falcons 5-2

I’ve never seen a team that many consider a favorite to win their conference look so shaky from every Sunday. They didn’t even play this week and it still feels like they narrowly escaped defeat.

9) Tennessee Titans

I’m still not sure how they lost last week, but I imagine it had something to do with Kenny Britt exiting the game in the first quarter, and traveling across the country. Still, the offense couldn’t have done much about giving up thirty-three points.

10) Baltimore Ravens 5-2

Congrats, being out of sight for a week gives me an excuse to put them in my top ten. Of their five wins, the only one by more than seven points was at home against a team from the other side of the country and with the exception of the Buccaneers and maybe the Browns, the worst talent in the league. But five wins is rare in the NFL, so they round out the top ten.

11) Kansas City Chiefs 5-2

Their two losses are on the road to the #2 and #13 teams on this list by a combined fourteen points. After awhile, we have to take this team at face value, even if they most recently struggled with the Bills at home. But I don’t know how much lower I can put a 5-2 team with some of the talent they have.

12) Miami Dolphins 4-3

If the NFL was strictly a meritocracy the Dolphins would check in as our last playoff team. As it stands, right now you can at least get some favorable lines gambling on them.

13) Houston Texans 4-3

Despite their injuries, I don’t think anyone was banking on Houston actually winning last night’s game at Indianapolis. Still, that doesn’t refute the fact that while this team has improved over the past five years, it never fails to disappoint. Having them just outside of the playoffs seems appropriate.

14) Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5-2

If they had been stockpiling top ten picks for the past seven years like the Chiefs have, I’d have them higher on the rankings. Unfortunately, Arrelious Benn seems to be their best playmaker.

15) Oakland Raiders 4-4

This team could very easily be 6-2 and has won their last two games by a combined 92-17. In short, if they weren’t the Raiders they’d be higher on the list.


16) Philadelphia Eagles 4-3

Similar to the Texans, the Eagles are accustom to disappointing their followers. Dissimilar to the Texans, Philly will take their fans to the precipice of greatness before crushing their dreams. Basically, watch them beat Indy this week then lose to Washington the following week.

17)  San Diego Chargers 3-5

Did this week start the great comeback campaign of the 2010 Chargers, just like the 2008 and 2009 campaigns before it? I’m skeptical, but the league isn’t exactly loaded with ’86 Bears teams.

18)  Seattle Seahawks 4-3

This is basically by default because they can beat the Giants this week but lose to the Cardinals the next. It’s the difference of home field advantage, which almost counts for more than talent in the NFL these days.

19)  Minnesota Vikings 2-5

Losing Randy Moss hasn’t exactly hurt the Patriots. But Brad Childress isn’t Belichick and Brett Favre might as well play in a wheelchair. The good news is, Shiancoe’s numbers should skyrocket.

20)  St. Louis Rams 4-4

Take away the first two games of the season (the first two starts for their rookie quarterback), and they’re 4-2. You have to count those first two games, but nuance (if you can call it that) is called for here.

21) Jacksonville Jaguars 4-4

Still can’t get a read on them. All I can gather from week 8′s win is the entire Dallas team must have used the six days in between games to vacation with Jessica Simpson.

22)  Chicago Bears 4-3

I find this team almost intolerably boring to watch, and with the magic that is my friend’s Direct TV, thankfully I don’t have too. But my heavy eyelids tell me they’re not any good.


23)  Washington Redskins 4-4

What a mess this team is. I can’t think of a coach with more renown respect committing such a blunder as Shanahan did with McNabb this week. The only logical explanation is McNabb Delonte West-ed Shanahan’s daughter, and even then it isn’t justified.

24) Detroit Lions 2-5

With the exception of the inexcusable week five loss to St. Louis, this team has been more or less competitive in every other instance. An 8-8 wild card season is unlikely, but plausible. And they’re 24^th. I have better things to say about them than the Ravens.

25) Cleveland Browns 2-5

I like their competitiveness and they should try to win games, but they’re just killing their chances in the Ryan Mallett sweepstakes.

26) Cincinnati Bengals 2-5

What is to say about this team? The defense isn’t as hard-hitting in 2010 and the offense is still inconsistent. Pretty much it. The only bright spot for the future on the offense is a tight end and maybe a slot receiver.

27) San Francisco 49ers 2-6

Call me a homer, but Troy Smith is a massive upgrade for this team. He’s won as many games in one try as Alex Smith did in seven. The choice seems obvious.

28) Arizona Cardinals 3-4

The game against Tampa should have never been close, and this team should have lost two other games (week one & three). Unlike every other team in the bottom seven, this team could have been redeemed by Matt Leinart.

29) Denver Broncos 2-6

Even with the two wins and a few close losses, it already feels like they’re playing with house money.

30) Dallas Cowboys 1-6

I actually think they’d lose to Buffalo if they played, but you get credit for the one win, even if it came with a quarterback who won’t play another down all season.

31) Carolina Panthers 1-6

Another team with seemingly great talent at running back but no hope for any short or long-term success (Arizona, Buffalo, Denver, San Francisco & Cincinnati also make the cut). I’m starting to sense a pattern.

32) Buffalo Bills 0-7

Two straight overtime, field goal losses. Either they’re about to get over the hump or they’ve blown their only two chances to win. Their next three games are against the #22, #24 & #26 teams on this list, so the outlook is good they get one of those. Still, it has to be discouraging when Ryan Fitzpatrick is your anointed savior from a winless season.