It’s difficult comprising a power rankings list when the delineation between each team is so infinitesimal. Is anyone reliable enough to string together two convincing wins against quality opponents anymore? We seem to have a surplus of franchises running roughshod over a perceived competitive team, then subsequently struggling or outright losing to a team everyone dismissed at some point during or before the season.

Also, have so many teams ever been so promptly eliminated from the ranks of undefeated? With the exception of the Kansas City Chiefs, who had the benefit of an early bye week and are almost certain to lose their next game (against Indy), everyone has at least one loss, and even amongst the one loss squads, no one looks terribly impressive.

Never the less, these teams won’t arbitrarily rank themselves. Brace yourselves for overwhelming subjectivity.

1) Pittsburgh Steelers 3-1
I know they just lost, but when you take a division rival and a popular Super Bowl pick (note: this is bullshit and I’ll tell you why later) down to the wire with a fourth string quarterback, the result is almost meaningless for these purposes. Now, if they start losing with Roethlisberger under center, I can justify a demotion. Otherwise, rest happily Steelers fans. Feel free to be as insufferable as you always are.

2) New York Jets 3-1
A one point loss to Baltimore and thorough domination of everyone else they played thus far. Congrats, even I’m starting to buy into the Marc Sanchez era.

3) Houston Texans 3-1
For fantasy reasons I watched the bulk majority of this game. Uh, great start thus far, Houston; though you might want to contemplate covering the tight end occasionally.

4) Atlanta Falcons 3-1
San Francisco has gone from divisional favorite to laughing stock in a little less than four weeks. But the Niners also gave New Orleans a good run, so I can’t hammer away on Atlanta too much. Do I think they’ll make the Super Bowl? No, but right now amidst the NFC elite, anyone has yet to distinguish themselves.

5) New Orleans Saints 3-1
Unlike other instances on this list, I give Atlanta the go ahead strictly for the head-to-head tiebreaker. Also, When the Panthers and Jimmy Clausen force you into a two minute drill to win a game without Steve Smith, I’ll tend to take notice.

6) New England Patriots 3-1
This team runs hot and cold, but there seems to be some locker room tension causing this inconsistency. Also, this can’t be good for Tom Brady’s psyche, but it’s probably comforting to know he could land any woman he wants and that Gisele makes more money than him.

7) Green Bay Packers 3-1
Good golly has this team been disappointing. You would think over the course of the past twenty-one games the offensive line would have improved at some point. But no, they’re just as inefficient now as they were to start the 2009 season. Rodgers can’t roll out of the pocket without one of them being called for holding. And that’s unfortunate, because Rodgers can’t be in the pocket for more than 1.5 seconds without it collapsing in on him. Brady or Manning would have lost a limb by now if they were saddled with this line.

8) Baltimore Ravens 3-1
Look, I’m putting them here because they have one more win than a number of teams that I think are superior to them, but even this feels high. Frankly, I just don’t understand the perpetual fawning over this team. They beat the Jets in tumultous weather by one point, lost to the Bengals when the Bengals didn’t even score a touchdown, only bested Cleveland – whom everyone considers a punching bag, which isn’t the case – by seven, and barely got past Pittsburgh in their last week of the Chaz Batch era. This isn’t an impressive resume, at least not one that inspires me to rank them in my top two.

9) Kansas City Chiefs 3-0
This is the best season for the Chiefs, who are just an immensely likable team, since the Dick Vermeil era. That was seven seasons ago…It isn’t like we needed another reason to root against the Chargers, but the Chiefs are good fodder.

10) Indianapolis Colts 2-2
What is going on here? Oh, that’s right. Indianapolis hasn’t been able to stop anyone on the ground for the past ten years and it’s finally catching up to them. They are to rushing defense what the Texans are to passing defense. Anyways, they’ll still probably go 10-6 to get into the playoffs, but expectations have officially been leveled in Indy.

11) Chicago Bears 3-1
Much like is the case with the Chiefs, I want the Bears to excel. Cool uniforms, in one of my favorite cities in the country (New Orleans and Austin being the other two), great tradition and fans that seem to be relatively mild-mannered (with obvious exceptions). But I just can’t buy into them being a legitimate 3-1. They only beat the Lions in the most technical sense (by taking advantage of a rule that drastically needs changed), and the Packers win was basically gift-wrapped by Green Bay’s inefficiency. So yeah, I wish them the best, but if they only win five games this season I won’t be surprised.